How do people control their tempers? People may control their feelings facing their boss in fear of being fired. Or children may obey because they fear losing phone or internet privileges. So the question is who tells people that they should control their emotions and behave how they ought to?
Let's call this "wisdom". Wisdom can manage our emotions. Facts and events are what wisdom gains to realize and react accordingly. The reaction could be adaptation, control or defense. Sometimes we need to collaborate and sometimes we decide to sacrifice. The wisdom conducts a meta-analysis and makes the appropriate decision in response. But our question still remains... Is the wisdom the reality our cognition relies on?
Why does wisdom make mistakes? Why do we sometimes fail to control our temper? Most likely wisdom makes mistakes due to lack of data. So we need deeper criteria.